Do you ever miss the days when in order to take a day off, all you had to do was ring your boss, explain your condition and then sit back and binge on Grey’s Anatomy all day?

This week I have wanted nothing more than to call a time out and just take a few days off sick. The problem is there are no sick days for parents. Especially not when the kids are poorly too. 

The girls both have colds, as do I. They aren’t sleeping well at night, at all. During the day they are whinging, clingy and utterly hopeless. 

It’s like experiencing life with a newborn again. Except instead of just one crying baby demanding attention from the confines of their cot, I have one toddler who can leave their room whenever they want, climb into my bed and cry in my ear and another one who cries the second that one is finally asleep again. 

I feel like my brain is running in slow motion, so the rough and tumble that comes with having two small children feels even more jarring than usual. 

I sound mean. Obviously I feel bad for my kids being ill. They’re full of snot, they’ve had bad temperatures and they haven’t wanted to eat cake. That’s when you know it’s serious. 

The thing is though, I feel like crap too. But the difference between us is, when I feel like crap, I want to just lie down, quietly, in a darkened room and watch TV in peace while drifting in and out of sleep. 

The girls have wanted to wander aimlessly around the house while screaming for help, fidget on my lap while repeatedly smacking me in the face with their flailing limbs and beat the shit out of each other. 

They are too toxic for childcare or any other indoor play facility, they’re too lethargic for a run around the playground, and yet they’re just well enough to make life hell at home. 

You would think it’s just a matter of handing over a cup of water and some toast. Nope, they want this TV show, then change their mind to another one within seconds. Then the blanket has “gone twisty and wrong” and it needs adjusting. Then they want an apple. Then they decide they actually want a banana. Then they realise their other favourite toy is missing. And it goes on and on. 

What all of this means is that it’s been a trying few days in our house. I really feel like I’m at the very end of a very thin and flimsy tether. 

The lack of sleep, the cold and the constant crying and clinginess is taking its toll. All I want is for someone to swoop in and remove all responsibility for the children’s feeding, dressing, care and general wellbeing for the next 48 hours. 

I feel guilty for writing this post. Shouldn’t I just be positive, after all it’s just a cold. But I’m not feeling positive right now. I feel fed up and bloody exhausted. Yes there are worse things in life, but I’m finding it tough to look on the bright side through my swollen, bleary eyes. 

To all of the sick mamas out there, it might just be a cold, but when you’re a parent it feels like dying in slow motion. 

Being ill sucks. Being ill at the same time as your kids, really, really sucks.