When you become a mama to two children, there are a few things that only you will know.
The chaos ramps up several notches as does the mess, and there are no words to describe your sleeping patters after welcoming your second bundle of joy.
Here are 20 signs that you are a mum of two, let me know if any are familiar!
1. You can’t remember the last time you ate a full meal with both hands and without having to get up and fetch something at least once.
2. You can’t remember the last time you saw the bottom of the laundry basket.
3. You used to say “mummy” repeatedly at your kids hoping they would say it back to you. Now when you hear it, you think “ “FFS what now?”.
4. You can’t remember the last time you woke up to your alarm clock. In fact you haven’t had to set it for years.
5. You only buy clothes for one child. The other gets the older one’s leftovers.
6. You find yourself saying things and then cringing as you remember your own mother used to say the exact phrase to you.
7. Instead of reacting to every cry and scream, you measure the intensity and respond only when it reaches “immediate danger” levels.
8. You know the exact time when soft play will go from Kindergarten Cop to Lord of the Flies.
9. Nappies used to get changed based on time since the last nappy change. They now get changed based on smell.
10. You have a secret area of the house where all of the annoying and potentially dangerous toys gifted to you by well-meaning people are hidden.
11. You and your other half relish the quiet, romantic evenings together where you can sit on the sofa staring at your phone screens like zombies.
12. A wild night out ends with you in bed by 9.30pm.
13. You discover leaves, stones, twigs and old banana skins in every pocket and bag.
14. You know what time of day it is based on what programme is currently on CBeebies.
15. Your kids wear bizarre clothing combinations because you can no longer be bothered to argue with them about clashing prints/colours.
16. You never use the hand dryer in public toilets, and you get irrationally annoyed when other people use it while you’re there.
17. You jump at the chance to give your child Calpol at bedtime. That was definitely a sniffle.
18. You automatically leave the door open when you are using the loo, because what’s the point in even fighting it any more?
19. Clothes are not simply clean or dirty. There are many, many stages of clean before they get to dirty.
20. You’re breastfeeding your baby with one arm and reading a book to your toddler with the other, and NO-ONE is happy.